Killing my TBR Classics pile: #4 Dracula by Bram Stoker

Yes. I had been chickening out of reading the 'big' books. I will confess to being shallow, and concerned about that silly thing called reading stats. But I decided, as I had got my stats back to the place where they should be (which is far ahead of schedule, but still!), I would venture into another large book. Dracula it was to be. And oh, how excited I was for this one.

And oh, how disappointed I was.

The first four chapters were magnificent! What a setting! What an atmosphere! What brilliance! Following Jonathan Harker's diary as he ventured INTO Dracula's castle! I could not have asked for more! There were wolves howling, it was cold, everything was creepy! And then... blah! The novel is not written solely from the point of view of Jonathan Harker. No, we get the point of view from most involved. But instead of it reading as a thrilling story (as it did in Harker's diary), it ended up feeling like a collection of minutes from meetings. I suppose that while I found this disappointing, it might have added to the sense of reality. Newspaper reports, telegram messages, and the diaries of the key players definitely should have made this seem more like a factual account of an event than a fictitious story. But it just didn't do that for me. Instead of living in the action, most of it was told about. In fact, so much of this was diarised accounts of meetings, I got bored. I wanted action, danger, vampires! Not a bloody reminder (actually, very little blood was involved) of the one thing I was glad to escape, meetings, being on holiday at the time! I suppose that what I am trying to say is that while the format worked brilliantly in the beginning, it ended up distancing me from the story, not immersing me in it.

"“Do you not think that there are things which you cannot understand, and yet which are; that some people see things that others cannot? But there are things old and new which must not be contemplate by men´s eyes, because they know -or think they know- some things which other men have told them. Ah, it is the fault of our science that it wants to explain all; and if it explain not, then it says there is nothing to explain.”"

― Bram Stoker, Dracula

That was not the only thing that disappointed. There were 'pet hates' in here that I find hard to forgive. Here you have Van Helsing, the only person who knows what is going on (someone has just died) NOT telling John Seward, the person who tried to keep previously mentioned dead person alive, what was going on (duh - vampire!). No! He must just trust him! Honestly! If you suspect a vampire lurking in my neighbourhood, I would much appreciate the warning in very specific terms! And THEN, after having one person die on them, they don't even twig when another person LIVING IN THE SAME HOUSE AS THEM is under the same threat with EXACTLY THE SAME SYMPTOMS! How can I forgive this? It is idiotic! They were DOCTORS! Once bitten twice shy, not twice BLIND! (Hmmm... I think I am venturing into the territory of using the caplocks of rage! And I haven't even got onto the treatment of the women by the men in this!) How these men treated Mina was insane! In the beginning she was magnificently helpful. She put all the separate diary entries together so that everyone was on the same page. She was the secretary at their meetings, taking the minutes. (Of course she learnt shorthand and typing to please and help her husband!!!) And then, all of a sudden, they decide to keep her out of it for her protection! Nope! She could no longer even hear what they were discussing for fear of alarming or upsetting her. You're bloody kidding me, right! What would be considered more torture? Being involved in the beginning and knowing the danger that lurks and then not knowing anything else, or being involved and at least knowing that steps are being made to sort out the problem, perhaps even adding to the plan? AHHHHHHH!!! I hated that! AND THEN! After she is reinstated, when they actually have reason to keep something from her, wow! The lamenting that followed! My poor, dear Mina who would be in such agony for not knowing! INCONSISTENCY ANYONE?! They didn't give a bloody toss the first time round! And they were forever telling her to go to bed, to sleep! PFFT! I dare a bloke to tell me to go to bed. I dare him. Just try it!

I am going to stop here. I think everyone can see exactly where this review is going. I did not like this (surprised?). (It has been a long time since I had a temper tantrum in type! It was quite fun. I feel like I have got a load off!)

Pan's recommendation on how to read Dracula:

(You will need a few bottles of the alcohol of your preference.)

• Every time you read "my dear" have a swig.
• Every time you read "my dear *Mina*" (or any variant of her name) have two swigs. (By this point you have already had over 100 swigs - seriously. "My dear" appears 83 times.) 
• Have a sip every time God is asked to do something (you will need to sip; there are near 200 of these)
• Every time a man tells a woman what to do, e.g. go to bed, down your glass.

Why do this? It will put you in a pleasant haze, and you might not remember the annoyances.

I gave this two stars. Why two and not one since it apparently irritated the hell out of me? I don't know. Maybe those first four chapters saved it. Maybe it was that the bare bones of the story was decent. Maybe I liked the words "my dear".